I felt so much love and support yesterday it was absolutely incredible. There was a higher power looking out for me, I could feel it. I had so many people thinking of me, praying for me, rooting for me, standing in my corner no matter what happened, that I think I was able to face everything the way I did because of it. It’s true what they say you know…he won’t drop you on your head after pulling you through so many other obstacles. I wasn’t weepy; I didn’t break down or freak out. I didn’t lose it. There were times I thought I might. There were other times I thought that it was weird that I wasn’t. I had come to terms with the fact that I had done everything I possibly could, and the rest was in God’s hands not mine. I prayed over and over, your will not mine. I didn’t have much strength to ask for more than that, and I didn’t want to be selfish. Things worked out in the best way possible. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, and it hit me last night thinking about how happy I was to be able to be home. Things could’ve worked out a lot differently and I’m very aware of that. I’m lucky, and I know it. I also worked hard and made a huge change in my life that hasn’t been easy but has totally been worth it, which helps.
There’s still a long way to go, and I have much to learn, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to continue to do that in a way that allows me to keep relationships that are important to me. I’m excited about new ventures, being back in choir, maybe being able to participate in orchestra, seeing old friends, making new ones, moving forward and just learning to live life differently. You know, in a way that is beneficial to myself and others. It’s amazing, I thought I had it all figured out just to realize I didn’t have a freakin clue. I’m grateful for that. If what I thought was ‘figured out’ ended up being all there was, my life would’ve been very limited indeed.
Everything falls apart at the exact same time that it all comes together perfectly for the next step.
It’s time for the next step. Bring it.
